My mother had an abusive relationship with her mother—neglect and gaslighting mostly. But only recently (she’s 82) has she come to tell me her mother was a bad mom, had no right to do things she did, etc. All my life my mom has talked about grandma as having a hard life and she felt sorry for her. That’s how grandma controlled everyone. My mom has been cycling through some really dark angry moods but I think it’s good processing it at any age!