As a polyamorous woman-seeking-woman and living in a smallish area, I haven't found an app that works well at all. Like you point out--lots of people chatting at me from many states or countries away. I've made some great online friends, but I just don't have the time for many. My favorite place is actually Fetlife. Plenty of vanilla there to go with the kink and really made for poly. BTW, homoflexible is how I identify, so I'm happiest when I can find that. Nice review. I look forward to OKC.