This is amazing how you contextualize more than framework.
Consent is an animal reaction and a rational reaction, and wow, the "politeness hat" spot on. Many of us who are damaged don't trust our animal reactions--or we've been trained not to. That's what causes many problems.
The "don't judge a book by its cover" bullshit I grew up with led me to rationalize and "polite" my way into situaitons that made me feel icky. You absolutely can judge a book by its cover, if by judge you mean using emotional intelligence.
I appreciate the precision of this framework. I'm not sure why "public actions are the most common" is a logically necessary law. Private action CAN be witnessed and CAN be influenced, but I'm not sure that makes the public predominant.
I ran into a lot of judgment and still do. Mostly, people make it about themselves with "I could never..." or "I would be so jealous..." or "I could never use someone that way..." Even though I have no interest in converting them lol. It's not for everyone, for sure…
It's called cognitive dissonance. That is, I'm neither a sub nor straight, but this is the hottest thing I've read in a long while. That Sir William is just domming his way into my soul.