You brought up a number of thoughts. Sex work is a continuum, and I consider myself a sex worker as an author of erotica (I'm using what is most intimate to me--mind, experience--to provide sexual pleasure to a stranger). Martha Nussbaum in Sex and Social Justice reframed the whole realm of sex work for me. Sex for service is a kink but too often a tragic requirement. I think it works well as a trade between equals but not when one is dependent and MUST barter. Like you suggest, sex for service is a form of prostitution and it's the freedom to choose our work that we want; hence, legalizing sex work. On the other hand, relationships are all about trade. People change, dependencies change, what is bartered can change. Thanks for the reflections.
Besides the familiarity, I think affairs actually reinforce the value of monogamy. Cheaters maintain the value of monogamy because even those who are cheating believe they're being immoral. Even cheaters believe in the value of monogamy, just not for themselves. I've had more than one person say it wasn't fair I had two lovers when they had one or none, but they weren't willing to accept non-monogamy as a moral good, despite the transparency.
Brutal. What a fucking turn on.
